As I sit here I can’t quite believe it. I have all the appearance of looking like a writer. I have my lovely clean desk, my laptop and cup of tea next to me. Words are coming out onto the page from my hands. It seems too easy.
For over 20 years my secret wish has been to write a book. To be a writer. I’ve dreamed about it. I’ve talked about. I’ve done courses on it. I’ve scribbled a few stories and words down here and there. But it just seemed such an unlikely probability for me. I even went to university for a time to see if I actually had any skills in the writing department. I was told yes that I had a gift. Yet, I still could not see that for myself.
I was waiting for something or someone outside of myself to make it happen. For a book to magically appear in my hands. For the world to shift its axis and I become this dream person. This dream writer with dream published books.
The years went by. Then the decades went by. And still I dreamed. I tried other careers. Tried to find other passions but it always came back to writing. My soul screamed for it. And still I waited for something to happen. For someone to appear. How long could I continue to let time pass me by?
So Ive taken a leap of faith. A leap of belief. And have finally got into some action. Because I now understand that no one is coming to rescue me. To hand me my dreams on a silver platter. That at some point I have to do something about it myself. I have to learn to feel my fears and do it anyway. To expose myself to the world. To be vulnerable. To allow others to really see me. The real me. The me I’ve not shown anyone else before. How else can you bring your dreams into reality? You need to expose yourself to the world and trust that no matter what comes your way, you can handle it. Haven’t you already survived mountains of crap life has handed to you?
What have you got to lose by trying? And I mean really trying. Not just talking about it and dipping your toes in but by throwing yourself off the cliff-face. No one is going come to push you or gently winch you down. You are going to leap out into the future and make it the now.
Your fears are going to try and stop you. But they are just fears. Pay no attention to them. Fear is only there to stop you from accidently killing your body. We have paid too much attention to fear and allowed it to stop us from being who we really want to be. Everyone in this world has already experienced, rejection, hate, abandonment, ridicule and more. And we have all survived it. Is that what we are really afraid of?
Feel the fear and do it anyway. That has now become my mantra. Ive been practicing it by riding roller coasters even though I have a massive fear of heights. By standing up and speaking in front of hundreds of people sharing my story even though I’m terrified of public speaking. By reaching out and making new friends showing them the true me even though I’m scared they will reject me. By taking pen to paper and sharing my heart through my words and becoming a writer.
What will you do with your time here on this planet? On your deathbed will you look back and wonder at all the leaps of faith and miracles you created or will you only see fear clouding your time.